Cornettes Commentary #3 (Wrestlemania 19 Preview - Night Two)

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#1 | Cornettes Commentary #3 (Wrestlemania 19 Preview - Night Two) - Video Podcast datum

02.04.2024 20:47 (zuletzt bearbeitet: 02.04.2024 20:55)

CORNETTES COMMENTARY #3 - Wrestlemania 19 Preview - Night Two - VIDEO PODCAST

Jim Cornette: My name is Jim Cornette and this is Cornettes Commentary, Episode Three. The show where I try to smarten some of you marks up to the business that is called professional wrestling and give you my opinion, the only right opinion, on the happenings in the UPW. And tonight we're taking a look at the second night of Wrestlemania 19, which is happening this sunday. Obviously this show won't feature the best match of the weekend, since FTR will already have defended their tag titels on the prior night, in the Main Event of Wrestlemania 19, but you still probably won't wanna miss this show, as it actually features some half decent matches that the professional wrestling fan can actually enjoy. Obviously there is also some shit on the show, that you will have to skip past, but thats professional wrestling in 2024 for you, folks. Anyways. Lets get this old mug of mine off your screen and take a look instead at these wonderful graphics presenting the matches and tell you my predictions on these particular matches.

MALAKAI BLACK VS. SETH ROLLINS

So to kick things off we will get Seth "FRANKLIN" Rollins against Malakai BLEGH from the House of BLEGH. I remember seeing Seth Rollins back in the day when he first started out in this business thinking, man this kid has got talent. Now, a decade or two later, I still see some of that talent, but also some wasted talent in him. He's got the athlethecism for this and he has had great matches before. But alot of times it also just seems like he has a screw loose. And this hole plot against the House of BLEGH just seems to be a sign of that screw loose in his head. So, he joined them, betraying his friends, only to reveal that he actually didn't join and this was all just part of his plan. What a stupid plan, I'll tell you that. Anyways, regardless of that, I still think he is gonna be able to get the win here, unless we get more of that super SPOOOKY House of BLEGH bullshit. But I'd go with Seth for this, and if the House of BLEGH stays at home, it could actually be a match to enjoy.

UNHOLY UNION VS. REBORN

Next up we get a 8-Women Tag Team Match featuring. 4 Women of the Unholy Union taking on another 4 Women from some group called Reborn. Now, where did I have my list on who was going to be actually to be competing in this match?... Ah... there I have it... So the unholy women are Athena, Shotzi, Isla Dawn and Alba Fyre.. someone obviosuly misspelled fire right there. On the other end we have Tegan Nox, Cora Jade... and to unknown women. But unlike the other women featured in this match, they are literally unknown, not just figuratively as they are not yet named. Well, it's gonna be interesting to see if we can get someone in this match can save this match, otherwise I will say that this is the kind of match for the people that like this kind of match. Oh, and I think Reborn is gonna take this in, probably.

THE ACCLAIMED VS. THE GUNNS

Then we will get THE ACCLAIMED taking a break from scissoring the Gunns, instead they will take them on in a match. Why is this match happening? All my obvisouly unfavorable feelings in regards to the Gunns aside, did anyone actually ask for this match? Two goofs, that like to scissor, with one of them also thinking that he can RAP, against the two nepoptism babys of the UPW on the biggest stage of them all for no apparent reason. Just because they want to have a giggle in the middle of the ring and screw around. The Gunns will probably somehow win this match, especially considering they just managed to somehow be on the winning side against the two best teams in the world. Oh, but Gunns. Don't think that I like you, now that I'm picking you to win this match. No, I still hate you. FTR still hates you. And one day you will pay for your decision to compete alongside the boys club at Dynamite. Mark my words.

UPW WORLD WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP: DR. BRITT BAKER DMD VS. SASHA BANKS

And from that fiasco, we go to a womens match. But one that I actually one see, because it features two competitors that can go. For the UPW World Womens Championship, Dr. Britt Baker will take on Sasha Banks, the Royal Rumble Winner. Obvisouly this match is happening because Mrs. Banks won the rumble, but so far I have been quite impressed by the Doctor, Dr. Britt Baker that is, and her dealings so far. So my money is on her in this fight, and if you're smart, you should also put your money on Britt Baker.

CM PUNK VS. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN

And then we go two the the first 3 of three matches, that are gonna make this show must see. Steve Austin, the one and only Rattlesnake, will take on "LIKE MUSSOLINIIIIIIIIIII"... The old Punkster, CM Punk. And if you're not already thrilled with excitement after hearing about this match, then I don't know whats wrong with you. If you are a wrestling fan, if you have ever liked wrestling, even if it was 30 years ago, this is a match that you should watch, because there is no way, that these two guys are not gonna put on a clinic in the ring and outperform almost anybody on the card. Steve Austin obviously is not a youngster anymore, neither is punk, but trust me when I say, that I think that these guys can still whip almost anybody in the wrestling business even in their age. But in regards as two who is gonna take home this victory, I'm sorry Steve, but I'll have to give this one to Punk. He's just that tad bit younger, that tad bit hungrier, so he's gonna take home the victory and then probably move on the even greater things in the future.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: CURT HAWKINS VS. DUSTIN RHODES

Speaking of old guys... Dustin Rhodes will try to take the Intercontinental Championship Belt away from Curt Hawkins in the next match. As much as I'd love for Dustin to have on more run, because he's a good guy, I think Hawkins will take this one. I'm not gonna say that I think much of Hawkins, but he has showed some promise and he is just the much younger guy in this matchup, with more to prove. Even though I can fully stand behind Dustin and his wish to bring back professional wrestling, something that I and FTR have also been doing - very successfully if I may add - I don't think that wish alone will be enough for Dustin to carry him through this match and to the belt.

SAMOA JOE VS. BRYAN DANIELSON

Then we move on to the second match of the night, that I definitely don't wanna miss. The beast, the monster, the Samoan Submission Machine will take on the one eyed Bryan Danielson. For sure thats gonna be another SLOBBERKNOCKER as my old friend JR would say, but at the end of the day, I think that Danielson bit off more than he could chew here. Normally in any Wrestling Match, picking Bryan Danielson is a safe bet, but he's just got one eye and he is gonna be in the ring with an absolute killer. Samoa Joe will know no remorse for what he is gonna do to Danielson in this match. He won't feel sorry, that he basically is gonna murder a one eyed man. He's gonna enjoy it. He's gonna love it. And afterwards he's gonna brag about it. And rightfully so. Because that's what you do when you are real professional wrestler, like Samoa Joe is. So Joe takes the win.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: RANDY ORTON VS. ADAM COLE

And then FINALLY in the MAIN EVENT for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. Randy Orton will defend his title against the Royal Rumble Winner Adam Cole. Quite clearly the is quite the long history between these guys, who have been at it for half a year at this point. And this is their grand finale in the final match, that I'm looking forward to. Under normal circumstances I would say that Orton is going to eat Cole for breakfast. Which he literally could considering how skinny and pale Cole is these days. And Orton normally wouldn't even take long to eat Cole in one go. He would just dip him in some sauce and wash him down with some beer or wine.... what i'm saying is... ADAM COLE, WORK THE FUCK OUT! GAIN SOME WEIGHT! Maybe eat some meat every once in a while, I dunno. ... Anyways... Cole might need to hit the gym some more, but he's proven to me in the last couple of weeks that there might be more to him than I thought. He had some tricks up his sleeve, that I didn't expect to see. And now Orton is an injured man. He may be at like 50% if I am being generous. And at 50%? I'm not so sure if Orton can still take Cole. Especially Cole just might surprise us all here. Even me, the great Jim Cornette, might see something from him here that I did not expect. And for that reason, I'm predicting that Adam Cole will take the belt and win this Match against Wrestlemania to end the show as the NEW UPW World Heavyweight Champion.

And there you have it folks. Thats my preview for wrestlemania done. Now, what do you think is actually gonna happen? Feel free to post it in the comments. But don't expect me to care, cause my opinion is the only one that matters afterall. And with that, I thank you all for listening, and I will be back to you... whenever I feel like it. Thank you all, fuck you all, and bye bye to you all.

REIGNING UPW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS
Cash Wheeler - OVR: 12 - 3 - 2 | 2024: 6 - 1 - 0
Dax Harwood - OVR: 12 - 2 - 2 | 2024: 6 - 1 - 0
"NO FLIPS - JUST FISTS"
ZWEITGIMMICK = THE ACCLAIMED

AWARDS / TITEL
- Tag Team of the Year 2023 (FTR)
- UPW World Tag Team Champions (FTR) 28.01.2024 - ???

Antworten

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